The Jerk with the Dale Carnegie Graduate Smile

You know the annoying type.  They come bouncing up with the big plastic smile grab your hand and pump your arm up and down with the speed and panic of someone on a sinking boat working the bilge pump for dear life, and ask you “how is the day going?”

Well what do you do at this point?

I have a couple of stock replies.

“Before or after I stuck my thumb through the toilet paper?”  Usually this will stall them in mid sentence.


“I am a little concerned about my health and diet” cue their concerned look here “I am not sure if I am eating too many prunes or not enough cheese.”

Remember the key here is to keep a straight honest face.

Other candidates.  “Tough week, my Gold Fish died, and I don’t even have a Gold Fish.”  “I must not have a green thumb, my artificial silk plant died.”

Probably others, the goal?  Get them a little off balance.

Good luck,

– – 30 – –

This entry was posted in The State of the Country and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s